Tuesday, December 5, 2023

Go with God


She says it under her breath
as I walk out the door

every day, as if 
she thinks I cannot hear her—

half wanting
half not wanting me

to hear her—
because she knows

I am atheist
and she is afraid

I may try to force 
my beliefs on her.

She says it under her breath
as I walk out the door,

always in a whisper
to try to save my soul,

a directive,
whether I like it or not. 

Go with God, she says. 
I will go without.


-


"Go with God" is published in the Fall 2023 issue of The Bayou Review.

Eric

Sunday, December 3, 2023

Dreams and Nightmares

    False Hope 

I had a dream about you,
and it was like eating leftovers 
of the veal piccata you made 
that spring eve in 2004
before you went vegan,

save for the few times a year
you crave fish
or when mussels are the special
at one of the Michelin-starred restaurants
to which you are drawn, 

because, to you, life
is all about flavor, or should be,
and you want life to taste rich 
and melt in your mouth
twenty-four seven.

That recollection has left me
peckish and standing in the rain
for eight hours straight
with false hope of getting a seat
at The French Laundry.


-

 
    It’s Not Me

Waking from a dream, you roll away from me, 
toward the wall. I can hear you mumbling something
about “cheating bastard.” I know

it’s not about me specifically,
but your therapist says that you carry
residual PTSD and trust issues

from your mother, your father,
and every past relationship you’ve had.
I know it’s not me. 

Still, you shrug me off, when I try to touch you.
You give me the silent treatment all day,
and I walk on eggshells.

Tonight, I sleep on the sofa in the den,
and, at almost midnight exactly, I stir to the sound 
of you sobbing on the floor by my side.

You say you had a nightmare and you’re scared.
I tell you that you’re safe, and I hold you tightly.
You whisper, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”


-

 
    Remembering the Dream 

I am sleeping tonight
on an overstuffed mattress.
It is lumpy but soft.
I roll into the basin
my body has spent 
nearly a decade perfecting.
It cradles me in the dark,
comfortable and familiar.
I am letting the wind
outside my window
rock me, as I slumber, my 
snoring shaking the rafters.
I am letting the clamor
of my rapid eye movement
act as my exercise 
for the week, and I am
warm for a moment.
I am letting the song
of my digital alarm clock
represent the end of time. 
I am remembering the dream
I had almost forgotten.


-


"False Hope," "It's Not Me," and "Remembering the Dream" are included in Dreams + Nightmares, a 2023 anthology of work by the poets of Poets Northwest in Houston, Texas.
 
Eric

Thursday, November 9, 2023

Two Stepping In Texas

    Snowflakes

The fallacy of snowflakes
is that no two are alike, 
because . . . chances are,
given the hundreds of millions  
of billions that fall, maybe two 
are identical, 

just as there are
doppelgangers for all of us, 
and just like, odds are,
given dozens of dice rolls, sometimes craps
is a winner. 

Perhaps planets grow life forms
just like snowflakes 
duplicate themselves, 
casually, as if almost undetectable. 

But,
as has been proclaimed 
by countless philosophers
and in “the Good Book” (at Ecclesiastes 1:9),
there is nothing new under the sun 
or above, or beyond it. 

And, even if the universe implodes,
it will recycle itself,
again and again,
with a bang.


-


    Romeo

O Romeo, Romeo, 
you are my David,

my fair-skinned masterpiece—
my beautiful love-boy.

Romeo, you are 
what is left of my heart, my

misguided youth, faded 
(and fading) memories,

my once-golden rainbow,
my final hope.

O yesterday! My Romeo,
you are my raison d'ĂȘtre,

my last requiem,
my grand opus. 

My faux pas. Romeo, 
you are my greatest loss,

all my hopes and dreams
save dying Juliet,

an adolescent sigh.
My best, Wm. 


-


"Snowflakes" and "Romeo" were winners of their respective contests in the Poetry Society of Texas's 2022 Annual Contests and were published in the 2023 Book of the Year.

Eric

Acorn Collection


   The Apocalypse

They roam the streets,
brain dead, scorching Mother Earth,
 
leaving a wide wake of waste.
All sentient things
 
recoil from their tactile touch
or die.
 
The atmosphere hangs acrid;
the water, metallic in taste
 
and texture.
Toxic. And they consume
 
and abandon, discard and disseminate
sans regulation.
 
Darwin’s theoretical specter shrugs.
This species has made
 
the idea of natural selection
wholly unnatural.
 
Tides churn into tsunamis.
Fracked earth trembles and quakes.
 
Weather rages. The wind storms.
If they were zombies,
 
we could end those brain-dead
monsters.


-


    Buyer’s Market
 
That house in the middle of the block
is empty in the suburbs.
 
The house is empty,
and it is not the only one—
 
the grass is long. There are
cracks in the sidewalk.
 
Junk mail overflows
the mailbox.
 
There are no curtains
on any window. It’s quiet;
 
there is no laughter.
There is no streetlight
 
on the far-right corner,
where the neighbors sleep.
 
The news stacks up daily
on the curb in the suburbs. 


-


    Cats and Dogs

It's pouring outside,
so my muscle memory
vacuums the living room floor
instead of mowing the lawn.

I don't have gills, so
instead of walking on water,
I moonwalk to “Billie Jean”
on my iPod.
 
All of a sudden,
I am Robin Williams
dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire. I am
letting the vacuum lead.
 
It's raining cats and canines,
so my muscle memory
sweeps the kitchen
instead of raking the yard.


-


    Dissolutions

There is nothing left
after a day of SAPCR petitions
and discovery. The divorce

he filed today was not his own,
and it was paid for in multiple ways;
money is always a figure.
 
Day after day,
he aids client after client
dissolve
 
that which once made them whole,
divide community assets, fault.
Or no fault.
 
            If love was ever a factor,
a numerically critical part
of the equation,
 
it is now known as x
the one variable neither party can
solve for. Primary
 
possession is nine-tenths,
and the final tenth is unspent anger
and negative regret.

Sometimes, they add
subtraction of family names

out of spite.


-


    Ice Packs

I thought I was dead,
because the sidewalk under the overpass
is ice cold
 
and I huddle there alone
for warmth,
 
while the rain falls frozen
around me
 
and the frostbite on my fingers
packs the throbbing pain
in numbness.
 
Street dogs cozy up
around my cocooned body,
 
which I have tucked
against a concrete wall
 
to evade the wind.
 
If we wake in the morning,
I will share scraps

of gratitude.


-


Mostly Swamp

I am watching the trees sway
as the warm wind whips. It is
not yet hurricane season, 

but along the Gulf Coast,
where the terrain is mostly swamp
and delta,
                        storms swallow trees.
 
The soft terra firma gives way
when roots push to the surface
and trees lie down.
 
For a moment, perhaps,
its lumber becomes a dam,
rerouting city planning
 
                        and the water rises.
 
Boats launch from driveways
and tow trucks get to work
towing flooded cars.
 
This bayou city is mostly swamp,
and its civil engineers

are swamped with calls.


-


    Oh, My Stars

            Dear Urania
 
Give me the blue moon
to hang outside my window,
buxom and bright. Let it
linger until fingernail slight.
 
Consider. Yes, reconsider
the arbitrary eight orbs
of my youth.
Give me back my Pluto!
 
To hell with Haumea and Makemake.
Give no weight to Eris.
Don’t recognize Ceres.
 
Affirm the time-worn truths
of childhood dioramas. Styrofoam
spheroids never decay.
 
Let Orion and the two bears
battle for another millennia. Who cares?
Give me back my memories.
 
I ask this with all humility.
            And, please,
do not send a giant asteroid

to smite me.
 

-


   Second Chances 

The field glows emerald  
at dusk,
            and the sky is cool blue.
It is cloudless.
 
Yesterday was so warm.
 
We have been given a second chance
at springtime, and there is
a gentle breeze
 
            blowing
from the west.
Crickets chirp
 
in the distance,

and the scent is jasmine.


-


    That je ne sais quoi 

I could tell that he was kin
before I saw him.
 
His blood rang clear in his voice,
as Cajun as it comes—
 
not broken English
or even patois français.
 
            Perhaps,
it was the washboard rhythm,
 
the jug beat,
or the way he said “sister”
 
and “Baton Rouge”—
mais, c’est le je ne sais quoi.
 
He looks like one of our cousins
from Shreveport
 
or one of the Abbeville twins,
            the angry son.
 
He did not order the mud bugs,
like his buddies did,
 
because this is H-Town,
and he knows better.


-


These nine (yes, 9) poems are published together in the 2021 issue of The Acorn Review, a publication of Grossmont College.

Eric